it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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