The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize