Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
