No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
