where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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