Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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