That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
