You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
