it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
