By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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