my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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