It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize