He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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