Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
