I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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