All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
