the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
