When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
