oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i need an iv and a liver transplant
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
