Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
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