I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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