ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
