I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
