just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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