we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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