Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
