Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
