I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Vodka?
Forever.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
