I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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