so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
