i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
