I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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