Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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