dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
