she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
