I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
