Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
