I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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