Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
