No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
