She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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