she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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