hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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