the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize