I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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