The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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