bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
