Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
