she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
