also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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