Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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