So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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