We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
