This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We smell like vodka and hangover
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
