Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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