They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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