Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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