is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
