yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize