Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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